Who am I?

Who am I?

I am a fan of Jackie Chan.  I like him because he is funny. All his stunt movements are entertaining. More than anything else, I like his movies because it is based on the original premise of movies – provide entertainment. I recall some years back or rather many years back, he did a movie called “Who am I?”. He was part of an international special force group who was sent to kidnap a scientist. While the mission was successful, the helicopter they were in crashed. He woke up finding himself in an African village but having lost his memory. The rest of the story was of his adventure to find out who he was.

There had been times I had felt like Jackie Chan in that movie. Who am I and what am I doing here? This becomes most pronounced when I have to make decisions regarding future plans. As I journey through my working life, I have often loaded the dice of my decision making such that my service to the Lord is preserved. And I must add that looking back my 20 over years in Home Fellowships, the Lord has preserved my Friday commitment without fail. The number of Fridays where work had to take precedence did not exceed the number of fingers I have!

Looking into the book of Titus verse 1 Paul wrote “Paul, a bond-servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the faith  ….”. (NASV). First of all, Paul identified himself as a bond-servant of God first before stating his calling, an apostle. Most translations use the word servant or slave. It is only in the NASV and NKJV that uses the word “bond-servant”. Is there any real difference in the words “bond-servant” and a servant or slave?

The greek word that Paul uses is douleuo which means to “completely and absolutely assign all personal rights over to the authority and will of another person; to be in “permanent relation of servitude to another, his will altogether swallowed up in the will of another”; the permanent surrender of personal rights in an attitude of total submission.

A good illustration is found in Exodus 21 verses 1 to 6. Here we read of the options a Jewish slave has.  As a Jew, he is governed by the 7^thyear Jubilee law. That is on the Jubilee year, which happens once every 7 years, he will be a free man again. However the Jewish slave has an option to forgo his freedom and chose to stay as a “bond-slave” for the rest of his life because he loves his master. As an act of confirming this decision, he will let his master pierce his ear as a sign that he will permanently serve his master!

So who was Paul? A bond slave first. A man who was not just a brilliant scholar, but most probably would have been voted by his classmates as the most likely person to be the next “who is who” in Israel’s political or socio-economic sphere. And his choice for his life was to give it all up to be a nobody for God.  

As we struggle to find our identity and significance, we often allow our surroundings and popular voices of the age to cause us to look at the outcomes of our choices in the hope that it will fit into the dreams or plans we have. As a planner, I will always say that until you know what is the final goal or objective, do not start. A wrong solution to the right problem is always better than the right solution to the wrong problem!!!

Yet, if we look at Paul, he did not do it that way. He did not start at the end. He started at the beginning.  He started with God. Placed himself into God. And accepted that he is a nothing in God. (Phlp 3:7,8). He allowed his ears to be pierced by God. And with a surrendered heart went on to do things that no one could even begin to imagine. He stood before kings and rulers. He spoke to thousands. He “shaped” many of the doctrines of the New Testament church.

So who was Paul? A bond slave first. I wonder, who are we?