"And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.'" - Matthew 18:3, NIV
Hello.
Matthew 18:3 speaks of the faith of a child, and with every passing season I've begun to realise some of the reasons why God revealed himself to me when I was, in many ways, too young to understand the complex Christian doctrines, and too young to question things that we tend to question as we grow older, more cynical, and more jaded.
My walk with Jesus began when I was around 7 years old. My mom accepted Christ when she was 17, at a youth camp back in Ipoh, but backslid for many years due to a personal tragedy. Owing to this, my brother and I never went to Sunday School. Instead, a devout Buddhist aunt of mine took me to the Buddhist version of Sunday School, which I didn't enjoy very much as they made me chant in Mandarin, which was beyond my linguistic capabilities, and eat vegetables. I always knew God was real–don't ask me how–I just did and was confused when my aunt told me to recite certain mantras when I was scared. (I used to suffer from nightmares). Once, I asked my dad if god was deaf, since I had to repeat my prayers many times in order for him to hear me.
One day I saw a carving of Jesus on the cross outside a Catholic church and asked my mom what that man was doing up there. She told me his name was Jesus, and he died for me. "That's nice of him. Can we bring him down?" I then went around telling people that a nice man named Jesus died for us and that we should each give him a big hug when we meet him in heaven. I accepted Christ about two to three years after that, right after a prayer about whichever god who was real to make my mom stop crying was answered when I went downstairs after praying that in my room. Coincidentally, another aunt shared the Gospel to me then. I took that as a sign from the nice man Jesus and said, "Okay," without any idea of what I was getting myself into.
However, I spent the next few years not going to church, as we couldn't find one that we could see ourselves committing to, and gave up after a few tries. Finally, when I was 14, while I was waiting for lunch to be served, I happened to see a picture of a church in the newspaper and told my mom that I wanted to try out church again. FGA was our next try. It literally took one of the pastors to grasp me by the hand and haul me up to L3 to get me to go to YC, but it happened.
Looking back, I'm so immensely grateful that God has been there for me all along. His timing really is perfect and painful situations were eased by His presence and His strength when I really couldn't go on alone. Despite no earth shaking miracles taking place in my life (yet), I've watched Him help me overcome my inferiority complex and crippling shyness, heal broken friendships, keep me from falling in with the wrong crowd, and grow my courage and help me with my studies.
Even with Jesus, life is hard and there are many more prayers waiting to be answered, but I know that when my strength fails, my God will come and take over and that it is when times are hardest, that we gain more insight on how infinitely big, strong, and good our Father is. There are no coincidences in God's book, nor will there ever be.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28, NIV
- Jun Cheng
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