Do you ever worry? No, I mean really
worry — to the point of losing sleep or developing an ulcer, a headache, or
high blood pressure? The word worry comes from an old Anglo-Saxon word meaning
"to choke" or "to strangle." That's an apt description of
what worry does to us.
And it not only has physical
consequences, it has spiritual ones as well. In the end, worry won't stretch
our savings account or keep cancer or job loss at bay. But it will sour our
mood and eventually stifle our relationship with God. Giving up the debilitating
influence of worry is one big step toward a life well-lived.
Worry types
Worry is primarily based on fear and
uncertainty. It's the anxiety caused when we think we might lose something
important to us. Sometimes it's obvious: You're worried about losing your job;
you're worried about losing a relationship; you're worried you're losing your
mind. At other times, the potential loss is a little trickier to identify:
You're afraid because you're losing the ability to control a situation; you're
anxious about the future; you're afraid of losing a dream.
Though the roots of worrying are the
same, worriers come in many shapes and sizes. Some are casual worriers to whom
worrying is more of a hobby. Others have become full-time professionals at this
deadly game. See if you qualify for any of these.
Mayday worriers
Life is full of risks, and weighing
risks is an important part of decision-making. But scaring ourselves by
dwelling on remote or unlikely risks and anticipating the worst-case scenario
in every situation is a surefire prescription for sleepless nights and anxious
days. Mayday worriers continually live as if their plane is going down and no
one is responding on the radio.
Yesterday worriers
These are the people who can't get past
their mistakes of the past. They suffer from the
"shoulda-coulda-woulda" syndrome — "I shoulda known that would
happen." "I coulda prepared for that better." "I woulda
pursued that other lead."
The events of yesterday can give us the
wisdom to make better choices today, but none of us possess the power to take
back a careless word, undo a careless act, or unthink a hurtful thought.
Yesterday worrying is perhaps the most futile category.
Someday worriers
Speculation about what might happen is
futile. Tomorrow belongs to God. It's completely His, with all its
possibilities, burdens, perils, promise, and potential. It may be ours in time,
but for right now, it's His. Therefore, there's no need for us to worry about
what's not even ours yet.
Everyday worriers
Some people get trapped in a cycle of
worry, replaying the same scenario over and over. They lie awake all night and
literally worry themselves sick. For these people, worry has moved from a hobby
to a full-time occupation.
Drop the worry habit: Creative anxiety
To worry about things we can't change
is a terrible waste of emotional energy. Rather than worry, people who go the
distance have learned the art of "creative anxiety." While worry is
destructive, creative anxiety is constructive. Worry focuses on the problem; creative
anxiety focuses on the solution. Worry controls us; creative anxiety puts us in
control of our emotions.
Here are some ways to drop the worry
habit and learn new patterns of thinking.
Schedule creative anxiety
Worry creates a false sense of urgency.
We find freedom from worry, then, by identifying that false urgency and making
plans to consider options and solutions. It's helpful to set personal
parameters, such as: "I won't worry about work on personal time." "I
won't worry about family when I'm working." "I won't worry about
unlikely possibilities until they become probable." Follow those
parameters and keep worry in its proper place — and its proper perspective.
Think the concern through, then set it aside
Regardless of your profession, you have
parts of your work that can't be completed in one block of time. For instance,
a business proposal is the result of research, many meetings, consultations,
and revisions. In the same way, acknowledging that you may not solve life's great
problems in one sitting can be a liberating thought. Work it through. Keep
track of notes and doodles and possible solutions. Then, you can park your
anxiety with those notes until you come back.
Imagine positive possibilities
Creative thinking means postponing
judgment on an idea for another day. Instead of saying it won't work, consider
all solutions as possibilities, regardless of how far-fetched they may seem.
Part of what makes creative anxiety work is the willingness to look for
less-than-obvious solutions.
Give yourself permission to be less than perfect
All of our worries are rooted in fear
of loss. What many of us fear is losing our inaccurate self-portrait of having
it all together. Perfectionists would rather postpone something than see it
done less than perfectly. This habitual postponement causes great anxiety and
leads to worrisome habits.
Practice the discipline of submission
Part of our old nature is our desire to
control. We want to control our circumstances, our relationships, and our
future. People with a high need to control are often labeled "control
freaks" by those around them. These people are prime candidates for worry-rooted
disorders because so much of life is beyond control. When something like
cancer, downsizing, or a lawsuit occurs, those who need to control go into a
tailspin.
Control is at the heart of one of the
most significant passages in all the New Testament. "Your attitude should
be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not
consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant" (Philippians 2:5-7).
Servants are never in control. They are
by nature submitted to their master. Jesus gave up control — of the entire
universe — so He might please His Father and redeem humankind. He never once
doubted God's provision. It's our doubt that God will provide that keeps us
from releasing control. When we fully understand our relationship to God and
assume the role of servant, we leave behind the need to control and the worry
that tags along with that need.
Telling yourself not to worry is easy;
walking it out is much more difficult. But Jesus' example proves life doesn't
have to grip us with anxiety. We can refuse to be surrounded by fear and live a
worry-free life.
Jesus and worry
Jesus offered help for worriers by
reminding us of three important truths in Matthew 6:25-34.
We are of infinite worth to God
Here we identify what is perhaps our
greatest stumbling block. At one time or another, many have heard from a
parent, sibling, teacher, employer, or spouse the messages such as: "Can't
you do anything right?" "Why can't you be more like..."
"What's wrong with you anyway?" or "I've found someone
else" This erodes our sense of value.
All creation is of great value to God. His provision for even the smallest of His
creations — birds and flowers — gives us assurance that He will not neglect
those who have been made in His image. The one who knows us best will, in all
things, guide us toward His preferable future for our lives.
Worry is futile
Jesus offers a simple test: Can worry
add a single hour to your life? No. In fact, worry will most likely subtract
hours from it instead. Worry has no productive value. Worry is an indicator of
our level of faith and trust in God. Whenever we choose to worry about
something, we are in effect saying, "I'm not sure God will do anything
about my situation."
Once we identify worry as a lack of
trust, then we can turn it over to God. Trust for faith is the essential
ingredient in an authentic relationship with Jesus. Putting our future in His
hands — all of our future — is the mark of a Christian.
True wealth can't be held in our hands
A close look at our checkbook and our
calendar can reveal our true priorities. While our concern is almost always for
the things of this world, our Father's greatest desire is to give us Kingdom
wealth. When we refocus our vision of wealth, we realize the extent to which
God provides for us, both in this life and in the life to come. Those things
that are of ultimate value — our salvation and the lives we influence for God's
kingdom — can't be lost. These are the things thieves can't steal and moths
can't destroy.
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